Home
by callistana
Summary: When Sydney and Adrian are sent to Court, they see it as a chance to finally spend some time alone together. But their allies and enemies alike have other plans in store for them.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **So, I broke my own rule and started a multi-chapter fic for a series that isn't finished yet. I'm guessing this'll probably be six chapters max. Unfortunately you're going to have to wade through my painful attempt at a plot to get to the good stuff. Just hang in there.

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Home

Being back at Court after months in Palm Springs was a jarring experience to say the least.

For one thing, I'd forgotten how restrictive Court life could be. Sure, I'd spent most of my time here partying and hooking up with dhampir girls – much to my parents' disapproval – but I'd been as trapped in that lifestyle as Sage had been trapped with the Alchemists. I wasn't a college art student here. I was nothing, just a troubled party boy with no real friends and no future.

The phone call that brought Sage and me back here had taken us all by surprise. Not the call itself – we'd been waiting for Lissa to give us the all-clear for months. But it quickly became obvious that Lissa wasn't just calling about the possibility of her sister's safe return to Court. She wanted to speak to _me_. And one other member of our group.

"It's a preliminary discussion," she'd said, in that new Queenly voice of hers. "I think it should be safe for Jill to return soon, but alongside the new bill, there are a few more matters that have to be settled. Jill's Guardians should stay with her, of course." She'd paused. "I wonder if you could spare the older Alchemist girl? I've heard interesting reports about her involvement in the Strigoi experiments, and I'd like to discuss them with her. Face-to-face."

My blood ran cold, and I forgot that I was speaking to my Queen.

"You're not getting a drop of Sydney's blood," I warned her. "I don't care what you've heard. If that's your plan, forget it."

Lissa sighed. "Sonya told me you'd react badly," she said, all formalities gone. "Please, Adrian, you know I'd never harm a guest of my Court. I just want to talk to her."

I'd started to ask just what exactly she wanted to talk to Sydney about when Sydney herself had prised the phone from my hand. It was time, she said. She needed to find out what exactly made her blood so special. A few minutes later, the matter was decided without me. Sydney and I were going to Court.

And now, here we were. Or, here I was. Sydney was still sleeping, attempting to adjust to Moroi hours so she'd be ready for our 'early-morning' meeting with Lissa. I'd woken early, unable to fall back into my old sleeping patterns. Yesterday, I'd woken to sunshine. Today, I'd woken in the early afternoon and then wandered around the shadowy Court in a daze for almost an hour before realising that since most vampires still lived on a nocturnal schedule, the day wouldn't begin until sunset. When had I started to like the sun and heat of Palm Springs regardless of how sick and drowsy it made me? I hadn't even realised I'd grown accustomed to living diurnally.

I wandered into another hallway, wondering how early would be too early to visit Lissa. She'd arranged a meeting for nine o'clock, but I could always hang around in her rooms for a while. I couldn't go back to my parents' house; my father was away on business, thank God, but seeing my mother's belongings packed up in boxes and storage crates made me feel ill. And my own rooms looked wrong somehow, like they belonged to someone different now. Or maybe it just seemed that way because _I_ was different.

Just a couple of months ago I'd resented being forced to live in Palm Springs. Now, I couldn't imagine returning to the life I'd had before, and no matter how much Lissa insisted that this was just a preliminary discussion, I knew what this meeting really meant. She'd done it. The new law was all but signed, and Jill was safe at last. Meaning we'd be returning much sooner than expected.

The prospect of coming back here and going about my old routine – waking as the sun set, avoiding everyone I knew, drinking until the sun rose – drove me crazy. The rational part of my brain knew that things were different now. I wasn't that person. I didn't _have_ to stay at Court. I could stay sober, I could get a job, I could rent an apartment and pay my own bills. I could stay with Sydney in Palm Springs until she took down Alicia and reformed the Alchemists once and for all, and then we could buy a small place somewhere close to St. Vlad's so I'd be near Jill. But those plans seemed flimsy and stupid when I tried to think about the specifics. I didn't know what Sydney would make of the future I envisioned for us. Would it fit with her plans? What were her plans? Neither of us knew what the Alchemists had in store for her, and that terrified me way more than my own impending future.

All I wanted to do now was find somewhere to sit and sketch while I waited for Sydney to wake up, but being back here seemed to suck all the inspiration dry from me. I paced back to my rooms and checked my phone again, deliberating. Sydney was only one room away – Lissa's men had offered to house her in a hotel not far from Court, mindful of the usual Alchemists hang-ups when it came to being under the same roof as thousands of vampires, but my Sage had fixed them with a steely, authoritative gaze, and said that the rooms next to mine would be just fine, thank you very much. If this trip had come at any other time, we'd probably have been more cautious, but Sydney's sister had been a constant stifling presence and despite the circumstances, we'd welcomed the chance to actually spend some time alone together for a change.

Of course, we hadn't counted on the time difference. So far, we'd spent most of our time here sleeping. In separate rooms, unfortunately, since Lissa's guards had lingered for a while and we'd been too tired last night to risk sneaking into each other's rooms.

I reached my guest apartment and slumped back onto the four-poster bed as soon as I entered, but an odd hissing noise made me sit back up almost immediately, staring at the front door. Green smoke was issuing from it. The doorknob sizzled and fell to the floor. The door swung open, and there was my girl, standing right front of me as if my thoughts had summoned her. Her entire aura was alight with the fiery glow of magic.

"Ever heard of knocking, Sage?" I asked mildly, trying not to look too taken aback. "You could have caught me in any state of undress."

She rolled her eyes as she closed the door and sealed it with some sort of charm. "Lissa is housing other guests just next door," she reminded me. "I was being cautious. Knocking might have alerted them, but I can easily fix this with another spell."

I gestured to my smouldering carpet. "Do you have a spell for fixing burned rugs, too?"

Sydney looked down and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oops," she said, staring at the still-smoking doorknob in dismay. "That's not going to go unnoticed by the cleaning staff."

I laughed, too pleased to see her to care. "This is Adrian Ivashkov's room," I reminded her. "The cleaning staff will be relieved that it's not worse."

Sydney rolled her eyes again at that, but in the next instant she was on the bed beside me, greeting me with a too-short kiss on the cheek. "Sorry about the break-in," she mumbled into my shoulder. "I just wanted to see you before our audience with the queen."

"And you wanted to catch me naked too," I teased, "admit it."

She shoved me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me. "I wouldn't have minded that," she said, grinning against my lips. I leaned forward and tried to kiss her, but she was in a hurry. She leaned back, her hands sliding down my chest as she began to quickly, methodologically unbutton my shirt. I groaned as her soft, warm hands met my bare skin.

"Jesus, Sage," I managed. "You're not even going to kiss me first? I feel used."

Sydney sat upright, resting her palms on my abdomen as she straddled me. "I haven't been able to think of anything but this for days," she admitted, her voice husky. "Not since... you know."

I did. The day before we'd been summoned to Court, one of our daily make-out sessions had gotten a little bit more heated than we'd planned. Okay, a _lot_ more heated. We'd been practically seconds from tearing the rest of each other's clothes off when Sydney had regained her senses and stopped us both for Jill's sake. Ever since that moment, things had been different between us. The tension had been so thick on the plane journey over here that I'd been half-tempted to invite her to join the mile high club with me. I still wanted her first time to be special though, and the counter of an airplane bathroom didn't really scream romance.

Sydney didn't seem so in control of her senses now. Her cheeks were rosy and she stared down at me with lidded eyes, biting her lip as she slowly traced her fingers across my chest. _Fuck_, she was so gorgeous like this. I let my head fall back onto the pillows and shut my eyes as she bent over me, teasing me with kisses on my throat and jaw and cheeks – anywhere but my mouth. My hands left her hips and I tugged her shirt up, my fingers finding familiar flesh and digging in. In moments like these I just wished I could crawl beneath her skin and live in a world of yellow and purple light and warm curves and soft moans and that fiery, all-consuming heat that always burned between us.

I opened my eyes as the weight above me lessened, and had the pleasure of seeing Sydney sit up to yank her shirt over her head, revealing a bra I'd never seen before – delicate and green and lacy. I sat up, rucking her skirt up to the top of her thighs as I bent down to kiss her skin where it was softest, just above her breast. She sighed, wrapping her fingers through my hair as her eyes fluttered closed. I took full advantage of her momentary distraction, turning us both and pinning her to the bed, covering her body with my own. She opened her eyes and smiled up at me.

"Can I at least kiss you properly before this goes any further?" I asked.

I didn't wait for an answer. I pressed my mouth to hers, teasing her bottom lip with the barest of brushes. She tasted of mint – a sure sign that she'd come here deliberately for this. I grinned and licked her lip with the tip of my tongue and her hand tightened in my hair as she crushed her mouth to mine, _finally_ letting me kiss her properly.

Jesus. As much as I loved all the other stuff, I could do this forever. Just kissing. Long, deep kisses. Slow, languid kisses. Clumsy, sleepy kisses. Fierce, passionate kisses. My Sage was an expert kisser – not surprising, since she'd always been better at everything than anyone else. If I ever had to justify our relationship to anyone, human or Moroi, that's what I'd tell them first. That Sydney Sage was incredibly gifted in the art of kissing, and it would be a crime for them to deny me the pleasures of having her as a kissing partner.

I dragged my lips away from hers, sliding down her body. Her neck was my second favourite place to kiss. We had to be especially careful nowadays not to leave any visible marks, but I loved the reaction I always got from her when I kissed the soft spot just below her ear. A breathy little moan, no louder than a sigh. It was one of the first sounds I'd ever elicited from her, when we'd kissed for the second time that night in the fraternity house. No matter how many times I'd kissed her since or how many other sounds I'd heard from her, I still loved that one the most.

I was rewarded by her signature moan and a short gasp when I sucked and then carefully nipped at her summer-smelling skin. I grinned again, and my hands left her thighs, ducking beneath the silky-soft skirt she wore and venturing higher. Sydney's eyes flickered open in surprise.

"I know," I panted. I inched my traitorous hands back down. "We need to stop. For Jill's sake." It was like a mantra now. _We need to stop. For Jill's sake. _It didn't matter that Jill had seen me do much worse. We always stopped at whatever Sydney felt comfortable with Jill seeing her do.

Sydney grabbed my hand, stopping its descent. "It's okay," she gasped.

I froze. "What?"

Sydney drew back and met my eyes. "I wanted it to be a surprise for tonight," she mumbled, but after a short pause to catch her breath, she carried on. "Remember that charm Alicia had that blocked you from using your magic against her?" She spoke in a rush, as if she'd been keeping this from me for a while and now she couldn't wait to get the words out. "Well, I looked into it. One of my sisters in the Stelle knew of a spell that blocks vampire magic, and she helped me recreate it." Sydney flashed me a sly, triumphant smile. "I phoned home just before I broke in. Right now, Jill is wearing a pendant that completely blocks the psychic link between you two. It's only temporary," she added quickly. "I know how important the bond is to both of you. I just thought some privacy could be useful in times like these." She bit her lip and squeezed my hand. "Is that okay?"

Was that okay? For a moment, I could only gape at her, once again awestruck by my girlfriend's brilliance and ingenuity. Then it hit me.

We could do _anything_.

No limits. No more stopping for Jill's sake.

And then, before I could say anything, before I'd even decided which hidden part of her I wanted to kiss or touch first, an interruption came in the form of three sharp knocks on the door. We both froze, staring at each other.

"Mr. Ivashkov?" The Guardian's voice was dull and professional and probably the very last thing I wanted to hear. "The Queen will see you now."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This chapter was getting too long, so I've cut it in half. The next half will probably be up next week. (Originally, I planned to alternate between Adrian and Sydney's point of view, but since this is only half of the original chapter, the next chapter will be from Sydney's perspective too.)

This is where the plot takes over. Sorry guys. This story will eventually earn its rating, I promise. ;)

* * *

Adrian groaned, burying his face in the sheets by my neck.

"Mr Ivashkov?" the guardian asked again, raising his voice. "Sir? Is everything alright in there?"

"No," he grumbled loudly into my skin. "Go. Away."

"Sir, I really must insist –"

The guardian's impatient voice brought me to my senses. I pushed Adrian off me and gave him a stern look. He spared me one last glance filled with longing, and then gestured wordlessly for me to hide in the bathroom. I picked up my shirt and gave him a too-short kiss before departing.

Once alone in the bathroom, I let out a shaky breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. We'd been so close to... what? I wasn't sure what we'd have done if Lissa's guardian hadn't shown up, but I knew that I wanted it more than anything.

I redressed quickly, smoothing my hair back into its usual semi-neat appearance. I felt like a character playing a part as I buttoned my demure beige blouse all the way up to my chin. I used to feel comfortable in washed out colours and sensible business wear, but these clothes just weren't me anymore. At least I could express myself in these moments with Adrian. I'd splashed out on new lingerie in colours I'd never dared to wear before, knowing that he'd appreciate it, but also wanting to share that new colourful part of myself with him – the part of me that only he truly knew.

I heard Adrian let the Guardian in, and I gripped the marble countertop, studying my reflection, willing that bright pink flush in my cheeks to fade. Disappointment curdled in my chest, thick and heavy. My heart was still thumping with leftover adrenaline and I cursed myself for letting things get so out of control. I'd known we might only have a few minutes alone. But I'd woken up with the knowledge that he was only one door away and the temptation had been too much for me to bear.

_So, naturally, I'd blasted a hole through his door._

When had I become so impulsive? Just a few weeks ago I would have told the girl in the mirror that this behaviour wasn't like me, but now I wasn't so sure. Maybe this sex-crazed madwoman was exactly who I was, and Adrian was just the only person who could draw it out of me.

Adrian was chatting away, stalling the Guardian, and I realised that I'd have to make my presence known. They'd check my room next, and they'd find it empty, with all my personal effects still lying on the bed. I could make this seem like a quick professional visit. They'd be a lot more suspicious of us if we hid my whereabouts from them.

I checked my appearance one last time in the mirror – flushed and a little breathless, but not noticeably so – and then stepped out into the hallway.

The guardian at the door was younger than I expected – barely in his twenties. He raised his eyebrows when he caught sight of me.

"Miss Sage?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes." I shook his hand. "I take it the queen is ready for us?" I made a show of pursing my lips and frowning in Adrian's direction. "Mr Ivashkov, are you _still_ not dressed?" I rolled my eyes at the guardian. "I'm so sorry; I've been trying to prepare him for our meeting for at least half an hour, but he's being..." I trailed off, as if trying to settle on a word that wasn't too impolite. "_Difficult_."

The guardian smirked and I felt a pang of guilt. I hated using people's low opinion of Adrian against him like this. But Adrian seemed perfectly happy to play along.

"Like I've been saying, Sage," he said in a lazy drawl that I hadn't heard since we first met, "when a beautiful woman knocks on my door and asks me if I want to 'go over the report' with her, I assume she'd prefer me to be half-dressed for the occasion." He leered at me for good measure. "Don't you appreciate the view?"

I gave him a glare that could cut diamonds. The guardian beside us looked appalled. "Mr Ivashkov, Miss Sage is an Alchemist, and her co-operation with us is highly valued," he reminded Adrian in a sharp voice. "I have strict orders from Her Royal Majesty, Queen Vasilisa herself that she is not to be disrespected or made to feel threatened in any way." He gestured for me to join him outside the door. "I apologise, Miss Sage. If you prefer, you could request to see the queen alone."

It was the first time I'd ever seen a working dhampir stand up to a Moroi – and a royal Moroi at that. Even Adrian looked surprised. Vasilissa's government was clearly shaking up the system more than we'd imagined.

"It's all right," I said stiffly, accepting the guardian's subtle offer and stepping over the threshold so that he could stand between us. "I expect his manner will improve in the presence of his queen." I sniffed, giving him one last indignant glare. "I'll collect my reports on the spirit experiments, and meet you back here."

The guardian frowned. "I... thought your report was already in this room, miss."

I faltered, slipping out of character, but Adrian came to my rescue. "You know Alchemists," he said easily. "Why bring just one report to a meeting when you could bring an extra twenty?"

I gave him a small, grateful smile while the guardian's back was turned, and then slipped back to my own room. I gathered together everything I thought could be necessary for a meeting with the queen of the Moroi, and then met Adrian in the corridor. Our guardian lingered behind us, so I slipped back into Adrian's room under the pretence of grabbing another file, and made a show of zipping my briefcase up as I left.

Adrian trailed along lazily behind me and the guardian (who introduced himself to me as Benjamin). I didn't know whether he was still playing a part, or still sulking over the interruption. I didn't blame him. I felt like sulking too, but the queen was waiting for us, and my frustration was quickly fading as nervousness took its place. Despite the progress I'd made, turning my back on the archaic teachings of my father, I couldn't help but dread this meeting from the moment Queen Vasilisa had invited me to Court. I had a sickening feeling that I knew exactly why the queen had been so eager to arrange a private meeting with _me_.

As we walked, I sent a quick text to Jill, letting her know it was safe to remove the charmed necklace. We soon arrived at a plain door not unlike twenty others we'd passed. The guardian knocked, then drew back into a respectful bow as none other than Rose Hathaway opened the door with a wide grin.

"Oh, Benji," she said teasingly, leaning against the doorframe. "I know it's hard to believe that I'm a mere mortal like the rest of you, but there's no need to bow in _my_ presence."

Benjamin scowled, blushing to the roots of his hair. "Mr Ivashkov and Miss Sage to see Her Majesty," he said stiffly.

Rose's dark eyes sparkled with mirth. "Yeah, I can see that. Thanks, Benji." She grabbed my hand, tugging me through the doorway and into a hug. "Sydney, it's been too long. How've you been?"

I laughed. "You saw me at Christmas," I reminded her as I pulled back.

The door clicked in Benjamin's face, and Rose grinned mischievously. "Oh, I know. I just like messing with Benji. He disapproves of my 'relaxed manners and easy physical contact' while we're on duty." Rose gestured with air quotes, nudging me. "You'd probably get along well with him, Sydney."

Adrian made a sound like a cough hiding a snigger – no doubt he was thinking of just how _relaxed_ we'd been a few moments before Benjamin had arrived. Rose glanced up at him with a tentative smile. "It's good to see you too," she added seriously.

"Of course it is," Adrian said with his usual charm. "But we're not here to grace you with our presence, Little Dhampir. Where's Lissa?"

Rose looked startled by Adrian's teasing, almost friendly reply. Her smile widened. "Right this way." She gestured grandly.

Rose Hathaway's new position in Court clearly hadn't changed her one bit. She led us through a long, spacious corridor, towards a marble staircase, chatting all the way. Despite the grand, old surroundings, the art on the walls was modern and looked more suited to a college student's dorm room than a palace. I supposed that this was a mark of the new teenage queen's rule.

Rose caught my eye as we climbed the stairs. "You seem different," she said suddenly.

"Oh?" I said. I was suddenly intensely aware of the clothes I was wearing and the beat of my heart and how close Adrian was standing behind me. "In what way?"

She stared at me for a moment longer and shrugged. "Happier," she said finally. "More relaxed. You hardly tensed up at all when I pulled you in for a hug."

Had Rose never hugged me before? I tried to remember. We were friends, but most of our time together had been before Palm Springs – before Adrian had changed my outlook on Moroi and dhampirs so completely. Truth be told, it had hardly registered that I was hugging a dhampir. Physical contact with dhampirs and Moroi – particularly one specific Moroi – was normal to me now. _Better_ than normal. I felt my cheeks flush and deliberately inched away from Adrian.

"I guess I've changed a little," I admitted.

"You'd be surprised," Adrian added in a low voice that made me shiver. "Our Sage is trying all sorts of new things these days."

Rose raised her eyebrows. I looked quickly away.

At the top of the staircase there was a set of wooden double doors. Rose knocked once, and then opened them.

"Mr Ivashkov and Miss Sage to see Her Most Excellent Majesty, Queen Vasilisa, the first of her name," she announced in a bad impression of Benjamin.

"Oh, shut up before the poor boy hears you."

Queen Vasilisa sat on a simple couch in the middle of a beautiful room unlike any I'd ever seen before. Everything – the walls, the floor, the ceiling – seemed to be carved from the same white marble stone as the staircase. Greek-style busts stood in sconces curved out of the walls and silken purple throws covered the cream-coloured couches. Everything in this room spoke of power and riches. The queen looked uncomfortable in her place on the couch, but not out of place at all. She wore a light blue dress and her hair was tied back in a simple but elegant plait. In comparison, the boy beside her, wearing a baggy dark shirt and jeans, looked absurdly out of place. I recognised him immediately as Christian Ozera, the queen's controversial boyfriend.

"One day soon Benjamin's going to figure out that you're making fun of him behind his back, and I'm going to have to pretend to consider firing you," Vasilisa told Rose, shaking her head in amusement.

"He should feel privileged," Rose retorted. "It's a sign of affection. I only tease the people I like. Just ask this creep." She nudged Christian playfully. He pushed her away with a smile.

Adrian greeted Vasilisa with a hug, which seemed to surprise her, though she returned it warmly. Then he clapped Christian on the back and said, "How's the plan to infect the world with Dragomir-Ozera babies working out?"

I groaned, but Rose and Christian both laughed. Queen Vasilisa just looked amused. I approached her and raised my hand. I wouldn't bow to a Moroi queen, but it seemed rude not to treat this as a formal occasion.

"We haven't been properly introduced," I said. "Sydney Sage. I'm pleased to meet you, Ms Dragomir."

Vasilisa exchanged a glance with Rose. "_Please_," she said. "You helped clear Rose's name last year, and now you're looking after my sister. There's no need for formalities. You can call me Lissa."

Rose and Adrian had told me many times before to call the Queen by her nickname, Lissa, but it hadn't felt right until this very moment. Vasilisa – Lissa – spoke with such warmth and easy elegance that sitting down with the Queen of the Moroi and speaking casually with her felt completely appropriate.

Rose snorted. "Don't let Benji hear you dismissing his beloved formalities, or he might hand in his notice and leave us forever." She shoved Christian. "Speaking of which, we'd better get going. Mia's meeting us in half an hour."

"Give her my best," Lissa said warmly, as Christian bent down to kiss her goodbye.

"Will do." Rose turned back to us. "See you later, Sydney. We're going to catch up properly tomorrow, I promise." She blew us a kiss and dragged Christian away. I waved warmly to her, and when I looked back, Lissa was looking at me strangely, like I was a puzzle she couldn't quite figure out.

Adrian slumped down on the couch opposite Lissa. I seated myself on the other end of the couch – careful not to sit too close. It was then that I noticed the guardians surrounding us. Two stood on each side of the room, far enough away to give us some semblance of privacy, but close enough to come to their queen's aid if need be. I felt a rush of pity towards Lissa. My life was so governed by secrets, I couldn't imagine never being allowed a single moment to myself.

"So," Adrian said, helping himself to a cake on the tea table between us, "Rose seems as possessive over you as ever."

Lissa laughed. "Benjamin is my newest guard," she explained with a smile. "Rose likes testing their allegiance to me by winding them up as much as possible. But Benjamin can take it."

I decided then and there that I liked Vasilisa. She seemed to genuinely care about the guardians who worked for her, and I was touched that she'd given them specific instructions to make sure I was comfortable in her court. She directed her smile towards me now.

"Sydney," she said, tucking herself into a more casual sitting position on the couch. "I understand you've got some reports Sonya wanted me to see?"

We launched into a lengthy discussion of the Spirit tests, with occasional input from Adrian, who had participated in most of the experiments Sonya had recorded. My own involvement had been miniscule – I'd reported on the tests to my superiors, but I'd only paraphrased what I'd been told by Sonya and Dimitri. Still, Lissa listened intently, like it was all new information to her. When I'd finished, Lissa sat back, watching me appraisingly. For a split second, I recognised a familiar dazed expression in her eyes – she was using Spirit. Then she blinked, and the haze of magic was gone. I glanced at Adrian, but he was looking at me. He'd missed whatever it was that Lissa had done.

"You know what I'm going to ask of you now," she said quietly.

Adrian clenched his fists in his lap.

"You want another sample of my blood," I said, feeling surprisingly calm, as though we were talking about something else – someone else. "And you'll give it to a Moroi for – for _tasting_." My calm façade faltered.

"No," Adrian said quickly, in a low, threatening tone. "I've already told you, Lissa, that's _not_ going to happen."

I let out a quick breath, my eyes darting anxiously around the room. I liked Lissa. I knew Adrian and Rose trusted her. But so many guardians in one room made my heart race in fear. If I refused to give her another blood sample, would they take it from me by force?

Lissa ignored Adrian and reached forward, jabbing a perfectly manicured fingernail at my final report. "You must understand, Sydney," she said. "Your blood is the only lead we have. You could potentially save thousands of lives. Sonya told me that your blood sample showed traces of the four types of elemental magic. We have a new theory... the magic in your blood could be something more than just the elemental types injected into your tattoo. A different kind of magic, one that repels Strigoi even more effectively."

_A different kind of magic._ I froze. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Adrian was tense too. Could the mixture of vampire magic and human magic running through my veins possibly be the reason why the Strigoi had been unable to drink my blood last fall? I knew that Alchemists were not immune to turning Strigoi, and as far as I knew, neither were witches. _But those two types of magic combined..._

Lissa was Adrian's friend. I could trust her to keep my magical extra-curricular activities from the Alchemists.

I was ready to confess all, when Lissa surprised me.

"We think there might be traces of Spirit magic in your blood."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Part two of chapter two. This part is based on a vague TFH clue tweeted by Penguin which mentioned a betrayal. Last plot-heavy chapter, I promise. Just bear with me.

* * *

_I was ready to confess all, when Lissa surprised me._

_"We think there might be traces of Spirit magic in your blood."_

"W-What?" I spluttered, stunned.

"I know it's hard to believe," Lissa continued. "But it's the only thing that makes sense. You told Sonya yourself that Alchemist tattoos aren't usually protection against Strigoi bites. But if yours also contains Spirit... well, naturally it would be different, wouldn't it?"

"But that's impossible," I said. My mind had gone blank. "I can't have Spirit in my blood. I can't."

"You could," Lissa said gently. "It's a possibility. We know that a stake infused with Spirit and the other four elements can effectively heal a Strigoi. Spirit has always been the key to these experiments. And we only tested your blood sample on elemental magic users. If you could give us another sample, Adrian or I could test it for Spirit too."

I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. _Spirit_. Spirit in my blood, running through my veins. I no longer thought of vampire magic as unnatural. The very idea seemed absurd to me now – how could a biologically inherited trait, magical or otherwise, be unnatural? But since seeing how badly Spirit-inflicted madness could hurt Adrian, I'd been scared of the mysterious fifth element. Adrian's magic was beautiful, but it was also a deadly poison, more harmful than any other substance he could drown himself in. Now there was a possibility that it could hurt me too – that it was _inside_ me...

"Sydney," Adrian said sharply, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned to him and his eyes locked onto mine. He hesitated, glanced quickly at Lissa, and then placed a comforting hand on my shoulder – a much more platonic gesture than we were used to, but it calmed me instantly.

"This doesn't change anything. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with," he reminded me in a soft voice. "This is entirely down to you. If you say no," – he glared at Lissa – "they need to accept that and move on."

A month ago I would have said no. "But... if I have Spirit in my blood..."

"We don't know that," Adrian said fiercely. "And it doesn't change who you are."

He knew. He must know that now that I no longer feared vampires, Spirit frightened me more than anything else. I wondered how he could possibly know that about me, when I'd reached that revelation less than a minute ago.

But I'd faced my fear of Moroi. I'd faced my control issues. I'd faced the Alchemists, and the Warriors, and Alicia. I had to face this too, I realised, or I'd never be free of it.

"I'll do it," I said firmly. I gave Adrian a quick glance, warning him not to try to persuade me otherwise. "I'll give you a sample. You have my permission to test it for Spirit. And... and to sample it too, if you must."

Lissa beamed. "Thank you," she said. Her tone was so infused with warmth. I could tell she'd been expecting me to refuse, and that unlike Sonya, she wouldn't have pushed the matter.

"I want Adrian to test it," I said suddenly. I hadn't even realised that that was what I wanted until the words came out of my mouth.

Lissa blinked. "Oh," she said. "Well, um, okay. If Adrian accepts, I'm sure that will be... fine."

Adrian stared at me. I wondered what he was thinking.

"I'll do it," he said. I couldn't gauge his thoughts from his tone.

Lissa let out a long breath she'd been holding in. "Good," she said. "I'm glad that's sorted. The two of you can report to Sonya tomorrow in the temporary lab we've set up for her while you're here. I'll give you the directions."

The conversation turned to Jill then, and the arrangements Lissa was making for her to be sent back to St. Vladimir's once the new law passed. Though the tension had eased back somewhat, my mind still wasn't on the conversation. I'd been so sure that my immunity had something to do with my own magical ability. I still couldn't quite wrap my mind around the idea that Spirit might be in my veins. It didn't make sense to me.

I was still dazed as our conversation was wrapped up. Adrian and I said our goodbyes, preparing to leave.

"Actually, I wondered if I could keep Sydney for a while," Lissa said. She smiled at me. "I'd like a one-on-one chat, if you don't mind. Just us girls."

Adrian leered. "Mind if I stay to watch?"

Lissa threw a silk cushion at him. Adrian caught it and was about to throw it back when his grin faded.

"This isn't about the Spirit experiments again?" he asked cautiously.

"No." Lissa shook her head emphatically. "No, it has nothing to do with the experiments, I promise." She was looking very sharply at Adrian, I noticed. It was an odd look, rather like the appraising glance she'd given me when we first arrived.

He looked at me. "See you later?" he asked. I knew immediately what those words were code for: _Are you coming back to my room later?_

"Of course," I replied smoothly.

Adrian grinned, shot Lissa one last wary smile, and slipped through the doors.

My eyes had followed his exit, lingering until the door clicked closed, and when I turned back to Lissa, I caught her staring at me. I immediately felt awkward.

"I'm very grateful for your generosity and thoughtfulness regarding the Alchemists' particular sensitivities," I blurted out. "I'll be sure to report favourably on your hospitality when I next speak to my supervisors."

Lissa cocked her head curiously. "I've always thought Alchemist sensitivities were strange," she said, with slightly pursed lips, "but it's curious that you think so too."

"I don't," I said quickly, my heart racing. "I mean... I'm aware that the organisation _is_ slightly... but... that doesn't mean I think..."

"Sydney," Lissa said with a soft smile. "Relax."

I took a deep breath, cursing myself for being so stupid, for speaking of the Alchemists as if I wasn't one of them. Lissa looked away from me for a second, and then said in a clear voice that carried across the room: "Leave us."

Immediately, her guardians bowed and exited the room, and I found myself alone with the most powerful Moroi in America.

Lissa leaned forward and to my surprise, she looked just as nervous as I felt.

"Sydney," she said hesitantly, in a very different voice to the one she'd just used in front of her guards, "I want you to understand that I take the safety of humans in my court very seriously."

"Oh," I said, surprised. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. This wasn't what I'd been expecting, but her tone suggested that there was more to come. "That's good to know."

Lissa smiled again, and in a move that I definitely hadn't expected at all, she reached forward to clasp my hands. I wasn't entirely uncomfortable with the gesture, but it did make me dread her next words.

"You can tell me anything," she insisted, slowly. Her eyes gazed into mine. "Anything at all. I'll be on your side, I promise."

A jolt of fear ran down my spine as I realised, finally, what this was all about. "You know," I said quietly.

She nodded, and withdrew her hands from mine. "I know about... Adrian," she said. "Adrian and you." His name stuck strangely in her throat, as though saying the words out loud had pained her, but I hardly heard them. The room, so warm and cosy when we arrived an hour ago, suddenly felt cold and empty. We'd been at Court for less than a day. We'd hardly left our rooms in that time, and Lissa had only spoken to us together for an hour at most. Were we really so obvious? And if Lissa knew, then who else knew?

"How did you find out?" I asked quietly.

She sat back.

"Any Spirit user could tell immediately that there was something between you just by studying your auras," she said matter-of-factly. "I've never been as good at reading auras as Sonya or Adrian, but your auras when you're together..." She shook her head. "I'd have to be an idiot _not_ to notice."

Lissa stood and began to pace nervously.

"Sonya mentioned something to me at her wedding, while the two of you were dancing. It was a throwaway comment, something about how you'd formed a surprising bond. I thought nothing of it at the time. But then Dimitri mentioned something similar a few weeks ago. He told me you were "good for him". And when I came to invite you both here, Sonya warned me that Adrian wouldn't like it. She told me what happened the last time they asked for a sample of your blood." She paused. "I'm sure Sonya and Dimitri know. But don't worry; they're both too discreet to say anything."

My mind was reeling. I'd suspected that Sonya might know more about our relationship than she was letting on, but Dimitri? And now the _Queen_ of the Moroi knew too.

"How long has it been going on for?" Lissa asked now, delicately.

"About a month," I said, seeing no reason to lie. "Well, maybe longer. But... _officially_, since December."

Lissa stopped pacing and sat beside me, on the right hand side of the couch where moments before, Adrian had sat.

"Sydney, I'm sorry to have to ask you this," she said, in a remarkably serious voice. "But I need an honest answer. Are you certain that your feelings for Adrian are... real?"

"What?" I was so bewildered I didn't catch her meaning. "What else would they be?"

Lissa exhaled in frustration. "Has Adrian ever compelled you?" she said bluntly.

I coughed in alarm. "N-no!" I said immediately. "No, how can you even ask such a thing? You know Adrian would never, ever –"

Lissa looked visibly relieved. "I had to be sure, that's all," she said in a reassuring voice. "I can tell from your aura that you're telling the truth. You might not have remembered it, but your body would, and it would show it your aura," she explained. "But you're clean, thank goodness."

I didn't feel clean. I felt like Lissa was exposing a dirty secret, rather than the truth about my consensual relationship with a man I loved.

"You can't have honestly suspected Adrian would be capable of... of rape," I said in a low voice. "You can't have thought so low of him."

Lissa hung her head. For the first time, she looked very young. "I didn't want to believe it," she said. "I like Adrian. But I am his queen first and his friend second. If this were any other case, the Moroi would be suspected of the same thing, and I couldn't let my feelings overrule my investigation."

My blood froze, not for the first time since this conversation began. "Investigation?" I asked weakly.

"Don't worry," Lissa assured me, "It won't come to that. We can end this now, and no one else need ever find out."

"I don't understand," I said slowly. "End what?"

Lissa gave me a pitied look and took my hands again. This time, it didn't feel comforting at all. "I like Adrian," she repeated. "And I can see that you do care for him. But if you stay together this _will_ come out eventually, and when it does, I can't be seen to be in support of it."

"What?"

"Sydney, do you know how many feeders live in my court?" Lissa said, adopting her regal voice once more. "How many Moroi laws exist to protect them from unlawful use of compulsion or endorphins?"

I tore my hands from hers. "It's not like that," I protested. "Adrian would never bite me. _Never_."

"I believe you," Lissa said. She looked pained. "But it doesn't matter.

"I've only been on the throne for a few months, and already I've seen two cases of feeder mistreatment – young human girls your age, who have been abused by those closest to them. Two _rape_ cases. Because a couple of drunk Moroi under my roof took advantage of these girls after they'd been bitten, when they were in no position to consent to anything." She paused, and then said delicately, "I helped as much as I could, but I can't control the way my people think. I'm sure you can guess what happened to those girls afterwards."

My throat was dry. I clenched my fists, as the words _blood whore_ flashed through my mind. I knew what had happened to those girls. They would have been ostracised by Moroi and feeders alike. Just a few months ago, I would have turned my nose up at them too.

"And I'm sure there are other cases that go unreported," Lissa continued. "I have to think about the humans in my care. If the two of you go public and word gets out that I've shown support of a relationship between a Moroi man and a human woman..."

I nodded, realisation hitting me. If Lissa supported our relationship in any way, she'd be putting the human girls at Court in danger. It didn't matter that my relationship with Adrian was loving and consensual. Predators would see it as an excuse, validation for them to hurt human women, women that no matter how much she wanted to, Lissa couldn't constantly protect.

"Why did you ask to speak to me alone?" I demanded, already guessing the answer.

"Because I know Adrian," Lissa said. Her eyes were glistening, but her voice was steady. "He ignores his head and thinks with his heart. But from what I hear from Rose, you're the opposite. You're smart enough to figure out the right thing to do."

I wasn't so sure about that. But I had figured out what _Lissa_ thought was the right thing to do.

"You want me to break up with him," I said. My voice seemed cold and deadly quiet even to me. I clutched at the edge of the couch, my fingers trembling. "You know how much heartbreak he's already been through, and now you want me to cause him even more."

"That's why it's best that this comes quickly," Lissa explained. She looked wary, like she was reconsidering her judgement of my character. "Before either of you becomes too invested."

"It's a bit late for that," I snapped.

"I'm sorry." Lissa really did look sorry. In fact, she looked distraught to be planning such a betrayal. "I count Adrian among my closest friends." She hesitated. "And I like you, Sydney. I hope someday we can be friends, too."

"I doubt that very much." My voice was colder and sharper than I could ever remember it being. I stood up, not wanting to sit so close to her for a moment longer. I couldn't remember why I'd been so impressed with her, and yet, at the same time, I could see her reasoning, and I was furious with that logical part of my brain that told me she was right.

Lissa stood too. She spoke gently, as if cajoling a wild, dangerous animal. "It's the right thing to do, Sydney. Deep down, you know it is."

A burning rage swelled up inside me, and I saw red.

"Don't presume to know what I think or what I feel," I hissed. I clenched my fists. "Don't try to tell me what to do. No one controls me. You don't know what's right for me. You. Know. Nothing."

My rage bubbled over. For a single, endless moment, I let myself be consumed by that anger, by the fire of my own fury. Then flames erupted between my fingers. I unclenched my fists and the fireballs I was so familiar with casting sprang up, hovering above my palms, waiting for me to strike. I raised my hands without even thinking, so blinded by my own rage.

Lissa stumbled backwards, wide-eyed, and her shock was enough to break through the enchantment I seemed to have cast upon myself. I lowered my hands, and the fire vanished.

I collapsed onto the couch, dazed, staring at my hands. My anger had vanished, replaced by a mute horror rising steadily. I'd performed magic without an incantation or ritual. That should have been impossible – every book I'd read on the subject of magic, every lesson I'd ever had with Ms. Terwilliger had taught me that that was impossible. I'd never questioned it.

Unless, whispered a sly voice in the back of my head, _Lissa is telling the truth. Who knows what Spirit and human magic combined could do?_

I let out a muted sob.

"You... but... how...," Lissa was stammering.

I looked up into her wide clear eyes, into the horror I saw on her face – my own horror reflected back at me.

"I – I don't know," I choked out. "I don't..."

I got shakily to my feet. Lissa took a cautious step towards me and reached out to hold my arm, but I pushed her away.

"No," I said. I felt unsteady. The power it took to create fire without an incantation had exhausted me. "I... I have to go."

"Wait," Lissa said sharply, but I ignored her. I ran. I threw open the doors and fled, hardly noticing the shouts of Lissa's guardians behind me, or the steady stream of tears running down my cheeks.


End file.
